By Dan Grennan

A Bolton street street has been considering getting her second boojum of the day all after spending all day in the library “studying”.

The Edition has learned that construction management student Lisa O’Hagan has been contemplating getting her second boojum of the day due to the first one ‘not doing the job’.

Despite O’Hagan getting a double meat boojum with extra guacamole at half past eleven this morning, she started feeling peckish again at just 3.47pm the same afternoon.

Ms O’Hagan cited reasons such as: “Sure look it, boojum is brain food and I’ve been studying in the lib all day like”, “I’m just pure bored and I think a bit of a booj could get the engines going again ya know like”, and “sure fuck it, am getting another one and that’s it”.

It is believed that Ms O’Hagan traveled to the boojum on Lower Abbey street past her usual Millennium walkway outlet to avoid the “valley of eyes treatment” she’d get off the staff who ‘know her all too well as it is’.

Ms. O’Hagan was heard muttering to herself “it’s not an addiction, sure I can quit at any time” as she scurried towards Abbey street. Lisa knew she was lying to herself.

She had often fantasized about moving to Mexico, the home of the Burrito, after she finished her degree. She could gorge herself silly on burritos 24/7 without the spike of fear that surges through her at the thought of one of her school friends from Sligo finding her with a burrito in the claw.

Lisa couldn’t resist a double meat extra guac hunk of Mex-Tex deliciousness wrapped in foil with a dollop of garlic and chilli hot sauce lobbed on top.  

The first bite into the spicy tumescence of her signature chicken, steak, extra Guac and chipotle sauce boojum was only bested by the final mouthful of warm tortilla wrapped around the last of the expertly balanced chicken, steak and rice. Satisfaction was guaranteed.

Ms O’Hagan had eaten so many burritos that she could finish an entire burrito without spilling a single grain of rice.    

Lisa had many sleepless nights endlessly thinking over the consequences of her hometown friends finding out she’d lost touch with the culchie chicken fillet role and embraced the trendy Dublin burrito. She’d even started calling chicken fillet roles a ‘culchie thing’.

The shame.


Categories: Features

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